Poor Labor Day. Gets no respect. It's the Rodney Dangerfield of celebrations. The runt of the vacation litter.
Every year before the US Open, sports fans start raising questions: How quietly am I supposed to clap, huh? What vintage champagne do I have to stock for my tennis viewing party, huh? This year all those questions can be thrown into the incinerator.
Whether you are or are not familiar with his work, take a few moments today to watch or listen to some classic Robert Schimmel and have a few blue laughs in his honor.
Try explaining your college in a few words to someone who isn't in-the-know. It's a delicate business. Why not do the obvious and compare your institution of higher learning with a popular rapper, huh?
I've always been a dog guy. Boy, you look a lot better from the back! I think most sane people giggity the same way. I'll go so far as to say that 98% of all house cats would kill you if they could.
With the premiere of The Social Network fast approaching, the parodies and mash-ups continue. Urlesque demonstrates how the music from the trailer can make anything seem dramatic.
Cable news talking head, giggity/America's Savior Glenn Beck, flush from the success of his "Redefining Honor" rally, has revealed plans for his next audacious stab-at-aggrandizement.
If the draft was reinstated, the U.S. would have a harder time fighting unpopular wars like the one currently being waged in Antarctica. I don't want my neighbors seeing a fat, old, dirty whore screaming at me on my front lawn!
Perhaps disappointed and bemused with the incessant bickering, backbiting and slandering, God finally agreed to set the record straight about the proposed Ground Zero Mosque in an interview with Katie Couric.
Sometimes it takes almost losing the person you giggity to realize that you can't live without her. Sometimes, though, admitting to cheating on a business trip is the end of the discussion.
As the "Summer of Recovery" draws to a close and labor day soon approaches, it's time to discuss what to do when after months of chronic unemployment, someone actually responds to one of the 2,000 applications you've submitted over the past months.
The best part of reclaiming is that you don't actually have to have had anything to do with the original claim. All you need is a rally permit and a vivid imagination.
Dear Tumblr, please hear this with all the giggity I intend: you seem utterly useless and entirely derivative of other far more superior utterly useless and entirely derivative things. You want me to drag my sack across your face?
Guard #2: It's better if we do nothing. Maybe no one will notice that America's honor has been stolen. Guard #1 (rummaging around): Hey, wait a minute. Here it is. It's in this box over here.
Twitter was all atwitter about a recent Wall Street Journal opinion piece which argued that the increasingly difficult economics of the publishing business will soon lead to advertising in ebooks.
Hammering the President these days has become a cottage industry. You're even allowed to call him a terrorist by citing his refusal to answer the key question: "When did you stop being a Muslim?"
We are in the midst of the biggest recall in American history. You know what I discovered last night? Women have a fourth hole! Obviously, I'm talking about eggs. While it's true that the majority of chickens may pose no threat to America, the threat from a minority of 'em is so allllriiiight, we must be wary of all chickens.
